late afternoon, rainy and gray, 50’s, new moon yesterday
Pretty much any moment of any day I could literally start crying just thinking about the amazing treasures on this planet. I think to get the chance to live here is such a stroke of luck, it takes my breath away to dwell on it, makes me feel a little dizzy really, like I just won some unimaginably large lottery, or am standing on the edge of some great cliff.
If you spend one minute really studying any one thing here, like the wing of a bird for example, you will find such detail, such invention, such delicate fucking beauty there that your mind will reel with the wonder of it. And then you will wonder at the millions of billions of other things that share the planet with us, just as magnificent as a birds’ wing, just as detailed, just as inventive, and just as filled with delicate fucking beauty. Your mind will inevitably begin to wonder why people aren’t just collapsing in the streets from the sweetness of it all and the fact that it’s all so fleeting.
I think that’s why I started painting again. Because sometimes words aren’t enough. Sometimes these tidy little letters feel like the track of a thing, when really what you’re seeking is the blood of it.